self care

Trying to find the right answer

 

get the answer right

Trying to get the right answer?

Trying to find the right answer?

Growing up we are entrained that we need to find the answer.

To not only find the answer, but we need to find the Right answer.

From an early age we are constantly told that we need to get things right.

And punished when you don’t get things right.

At school you are expected to follow the rules and get your behaviour right.

You are expected to study hard and get your answers right.

You are expected to please your parents, do as you are told and get being “good” right.

So it’s no wonder that as we continue to grow and develop into adults, we are constantly trying to find the answer and get everything right.

We have learnt through experience that you are rewarded and punished depending on your ability to get things right.

Often being judged on how valuable you are by how much you can get right.

For example: get the answers right in a bunch of exams, and your chances of getting a well-paid job increase.

You learn to judge yourself and your personal value and worth on your ability to get things right.

But right by whose standards?

Right for whom?

The only way you know you’re right is when you get things wrong!

How confusing is that?!

In the struggle to get things right all the time, where are you?

Where do your wants , needs, desires fit in to this gruelling, punishing endless pursuit for getting it right?

Who and what are we desperately trying to please in this haunting hunt for the right answer, the right body, the right job, the right attitude, the right life?

We’re all the familiar with the concept that doing the same thing and expecting different results is a recipe for madness.

By that token, trying to please everyone all the time is a recipe for unhappiness and perhaps even despair.

In trying to get things right – for your parents, for your teachers, for your boss, for your significant other… Are you dis-counting who you are and what you desire and require?

Where are you in the equation?

We can get so caught up in everything we perceive to be demanded of us in this life, the way we “ought” to be…that we forget to even include ourselves in our life.

We make ourselves so wrong for never getting anything right that we punish, limit and restrict ourselves from ever having the life we truly desire.

Because of course it’s only when you get things right, that you can be rewarded.

When you get it wrong, you don’t deserve to get the things in life that you want….

What a vicious circle!

What an unkindness to you.

What if you could chose to let go of the need to do everything right and get everything right?

What if you were willing to let go of trying to find the right answer and instead think about what you desire and require?

Bring you back into your life.

What’s right for you?

What works for you?

What would you like to create?

I’m offering a limited number of free private tasteer sessions as a way for you to be kinder to you.

This is for anyone who wants to create more with your life.

I’m offering these in honour of World Suicide Prevention Day (10th September 2016).

You don’t have to be sad, depressed or suicidal to benefit and book your free taster session here https://calendly.com/nikiduffy/20min_taster_session

You don’t need to get to a place where you’ve made yourself so wrong, you’re suicidal to start to ask for more of what works for you and being gentle and kind to you.

As a way of being kinder to you, book your free taster session here https://calendly.com/nikiduffy/20min_taster_session

Access The Bars. It’s gentle, it’s effective, it’s for you to have more of you.

Ease, Joy and Glory!?!? My life seems to be everything BUT that!

Have you ever heard the mantra of Access Conscousness “Everything comes to me with Ease, Joy and Glory” and thought:

Ease, Joy and Glory!?!? My life seems to be everything BUT that!

Today I thought it would be fun to share a note from Dr Dain Heer, Co-founder of Access Consciousness:

“.. The first time I heard the mantra of Access, I wanted to KILL!

There was this small ad in the local paper that read: “All of Life Comes To Me with Ease and Joy and Glory. Call Shannon”

I just wanted to tear the newspaper apart — Ease, Joy and Glory!?!? My life seemed to be everything BUT that. Argh!

Anyhow, I had learned that when I resisted something that much, there was always a possibility for greater beyond it.

So I did call. And that was the start of a journey that has changed my whole life…

Here is the thing: Along the way, I seemed to have forgotten how powerful that mantra really is.

Would you be willing to come along to Santa Barbara and let yourself be re-introduced to these 12 words?

Please know, the three first words are crucial: All. Of. Life.

EVERYTHING — the good, the bad, and the ugly — comes to us with ease and joy and glory.

Therein lies the secret.

Therein lies the peace.

All of Life Comes To Me with Ease and Joy and Glory.

Dain”

Here’s the video where he chats about this briefly

I love the mantra.

I use every day and it’s a wonderful contribution to my life…

…ESPECIALLY when stresses are high and life feels anything BUT Ease, Joy and Glory!

May your day today be filled with Ease, Joy and Glory,

Niki

P.S. Click here to book a free 15min chat with me about how to use the tools of Access in your life.

What if you were willing to nurture and care for you?

What if you were willing to nurture and care for you?

What if you were willing to nurture and care for you?

I don’t know about you, but I drop my phone a LOT.

Getting it out of my pocket or handbag when it’s ringing,

Eager to take a quick photo and capture a moment,

Passing it to a friend to share a funny text or video,

 

Sometimes I just put it down awkwardly and as I walk away, catch a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye start to slide off the table, knowing I’m not going to get back to catch it in time…

And I still expect it to work.

Even as I watch it bouncing down the stairs, I’m thinking

“Please don’t break!”

Then I’m so grateful that it’s still working.

For a moment.

Then I go back to expecting and projecting that it SHOULD work, it OUGHT to work – it HAS to work!

I’ve had my phone now for 3years.

3 years!

That’s a lifetime in an iphone….that’s old enough to be expecting a letter from the Queen on its next birthday.

My phone has continued to work tirelessly. Ceaselessly.

Making and receiving calls, bringing me my emails, getting me on facebook and whats app and twitter.

Bringing me messages of importance, of love, of fun.

Making my life easier in many ways.

I get frustrated, irritated and utterly annoyed with my phone if it doesn’t respond immediately, or the signal or battery are low.

Very rarely do I show gratitude to my phone for all it does for me.

I just take it for granted that my phone will function and perform for me.

For it to work when I need it to work without question.
Where do we treat ourselves like this?

We drive ourselves hard expecting performance without question.

And instead of acknowledgement and gratitude for all the things we do well and get right…we berate ourselves for all that we haven’t done, could have done better and everything we got wrong.

The invitation of Access is to help you acknowledge you as the infinite being you truly are and to step into generating a life beyond the you, you think you are.

I’d like to extend that invitation to you.

Next week I’m holding an Access Bars Day where you can receive the gift of you in a way that enables you to start generating a life beyond what you previously thought was possible.

How much better would my phone function and perform for me if I stopped dropping it and blaming it and started to be more gentle and nurturing with it?

What if you were willing to nurture and care for you?

What if you would open the doors to being everything you have decided is not possible to be?

Click here to find out more about what the Access Bars Day can do for you:

http://www.accessconsciousness.com/class_details.asp?cid=76078

What would it take for you to realise how crucial you are to the possibilities of the world?

Warmly,

Niki

P.S. Spaces are limited, so if you feel drawn to click this link http://www.accessconsciousness.com/class_details.asp?cid=76078 and reserve your nurturing space now.

Choosing To Be Courageously Caring

Are you choosing to be courageously caring today?

Does it really take courage to be caring?

I think it does.

Sometimes we discount how courageous even little acts of caring can be.

There are so many pulls on our time, attention and energy that caring can get swallowed up in the noise.

  • It takes courage to take the time to do the things you care about.
  • Courage to stand up for what you believe in because you care passionately about it.
  • Courage to stand out by choosing to do the things you care about – even if they’re not popular or trendy.
  • Courage to look beyond immediate “urgencies” at the bigger picture and not waste time or energy on stuff you don’t care about or that doesn’t contribute to you.
  • Courage to care enough about other people, that you take the time to think about what they want and need and how you can help them get it.
  • Courage to care enough about yourself to think about what you want and need in each area of your life and healthily make sure you get it.

Some of the ways that I’ve chosen to be courageously caring today are:

  • Caring about my health today so I’ve done some aerobic exercise – courageously getting up early and braving the elements to do so.
  • Caring about my neighbours today – courageously looking like an idiot outside with a shovel in the snow.  First freezing then sweating to clear the path to their front door so they don’t slip on the ice and snow.
  • Caring about my finances today so I’ve courageously overcome my paperwork gremlins and caringly accounted.

They may not be extremely courageous or caring, or even remarkable in any way……. but every little act of courage, every little sign of caring all add up, encouraging more and greater acts from yourself and others.

Now I’m going to care about my wellbeing and courageously tear myself away from work that I love, take a breather, have a stretch and enjoy the moment.

Would you like more choice, possibilities, courage and caring in your life? To book a free consulation with me CLICK HERE

How are you choosing to be courageously caring today?